Our modest proposal for France

Boisclair à Paris

Socialist presidential candidate Segolene Royal has become the latest politician in France to step into the deep doo-doo on the issue of Quebec independence.

After meeting with Parti Quebecois Leader Andre Boisclair in France on Monday, Royal evoked memories of Charles de Gaulle's infamous "Vive le Quebec libre" speech while he was visiting Quebec in 1967.

The speech caused so much furor that de Gaulle cut short his trip to Canada.
Royal, who has a reputation in France for being gaffe-prone -- not hard to see why -- observed that Quebec and France share the common positions of "sovereignty and Quebec's freedom." Oops.

For this she was rightly denounced by Prime Minister Stephen Harper, Quebec Premier Jean Charest and federal Liberal Leader Stephane Dion, who nailed it when he cautioned Royal: "You do not wish for the dismantling of a friendly country." Bravo!

We hope this incident finally convinces Dion what a bad idea it is for him to continue to be a dual citizen of France and Canada, especially if he ever becomes PM.
It's because in politics, perception is everything.
That said, given the fascination French politicians seem to have with Quebec independence, we have a counter-offer for the people of France.
We propose they become Canadians by joining up with the province of Quebec.
Here are our top-five reasons (because we don't have room for 10) why France should jump at this offer.

(1) New opportunity for the French to look down their noses at millions more people who speak French. This in addition to the millions they already look down their noses at for speaking English.

(2) Easy access to Fox News in the U.S., where French politicians can appear to explain why they are not, in fact, cheese-eating surrender monkeys.

(3) French finally get to taste some decent food -- for example, the pure joy of a fresh, warm Montreal bagel.

(4) French know-how applied to interpreting Quebec's sign law, thus rendering it totally ineffective.

(5) With instant addition of 60 million new French-speaking citizens to Canada, francophone Quebecers no longer feel their language is in danger of disappearing. Desire for separation ends.

Except, of course, in Alberta, which now REALLY wants out.

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